Buddhistische Thai-Hochzeit in Bangkok: Dew & Job

Although most Thai people are buddhist, not everybody includes a buddhist ceremony in their wedding. But as we both are very much into Buddhism and think that it’s a good blessing for us, we decided to have it. We had to do it right in the morning because the monks are not supposed to eat anything after Midday, so everything has to be done before that. What happened afterwards forms part of our Thai traditions, too: The parade of the groom’s people and the negotiation about the bride price with all the wishes and blessings from relatives and close friends afterwards. Later on, we held our evening wedding ceremony and had a reception with dinner for the 700 guests in a bigger hall. At 9:30 pm, our friends moved into another room where we had a great party with live rock and pop music with round about 200 people until Midnight.

The buddhist ceremony included nine monks because the number 9 in Thai sounds exactly the same as the Thai word for „prosperity“. A lot of symbols, praying and singing are involved in this ceremony. The monks show their connection to Buddha, we as a couple show our respect for the monks and they give us their blessing in several ways, for example painting three white dots on our fronts or pouring blessed water over us.

After lunch, the parade started. That’s a Thai tradition representing a fun part before the negotiation between the two families about the bride price starts. The groom’s best men, his parents and negotiators line up carrying gifts for the bride’s family. The parade moves towards the negotiating place. On his way, the groom has to pass various tests by the bride’s maids who want him to prove his love and suitability for marrying the girl who is one their best friends, while the bride herself waits hidden in a separate room. It was very funny: Job had to sing, to dance and to shout out all the love he felt for Dew so loud that she should hear it in her room.
Nowadays, the following negotiation is rather a show: The bride price is still being paid but the families agree on it beforehands and some families decide to give the money to the couple later on, as a financial basis for their married life. As you can imagine, it can cause quite some trouble between bride and groom if her family decides to keep the money... But some time ago, it could happen that no agreement was found and then the wedding would be cancelled right there. When the agreement was announced, Job was allowed to call for Dew and walk her into the room: Time for changing rings.

What followed then, was the part that touched us most deeply. We showed our respect for our parents, close relatives and families’ friends by offering them a gift and they expressed their wishes for us and gave us a gift back. This was followed by a ritual when they poured blessed water over our hands and gave us advice. That can only be done by people who are older than the bride and the groom because we believe that they have gone through life already and are able to give helpful advice. That meant a lot to us.

Job: As opposed to morning ceremony that is limited to a small circle of close friends and relatives, the evening ceremony was extended to a wider group of guests. In the past this served as an announcement to other people that we got married. For this, typically, the majority of guests would be coming from our parents side. You don’t necessery need to host it on the same day, which is very tiring for both, the bride and groom. But most people would still go for it as it is cheaper to rent the same venue for the whole day. For our case, there were many relatives who had come to Bangkok from the countryside as well as our overseas guest, so it was better to keep it within one day.
Dew: We wanted to have a very personal and emotional part in our wedding day at a point where everybody was present. And: My mother is Buddhist, but my father is Catholic. I am the eldest daughter and it was hard for him to let me go anyways. He even refused his admission when Job first proposed to me! I had to make use of all my marketing skills in the following months to finally convince my parents that Job was a responsible, intelligent and successful man and the right one for me... After all that, I knew that it would mean a lot to my father to walk me down the aisle during the evening wedding ceremony, as he knows that ceremonial part from Church and we did that also in his honor.

Dew: Two friends of mine were masters of ceremony and moderated this part. First of all, my bride maids entered the hall, then my father walked me down the aisle they were forming. At this receptional part of a Thai wedding, it is well-seen that someone with a good reputation in society holds a speech. In our case it was the Minister of Labour because he is a friend of Job’s father. Afterwards, our MCs interviewed us about how we got to know each other and so on, my maid of honour and Job’s best man held speeches, we symbolically cut the wedding cake with a sword – but the cake was just fake, you couldn’t eat it any part of it – and Job had prepared a very special surprise for me: He sang one of my favourite songs but usually he wouldn’t sing at all... That was very emotional.

Dew: We started one year ago with a wedding planner team including 10 people. They were really important, also at our actual wedding day. One was there all the time as some kind of personal assistant for me. She straighten my dress for the pictures, for example during this large photo session at the afternoon reception when we were taking pictures with every guest arriving for almost three hours in a row... Then we had 30 people for the decoration that included a lot of flowers and a ceiling filled with small lights and chrystals in order to look like a sky filled with sparkling stars – because my mother likes flowers so much and I like stars so much. In the evening, there were 30 waiters to serve our guests and 10 photographers and filmers who accompanied us during the whole day.